The Third Task with a Twist
by Ryong Storm
Summary: Harry/Fleur. AU. Crack fic. Harry is prone to accidents. When magic, accidents and Harry's unique Luck get mixes together… well results can be pretty amusing.


Prologue and Epilogue.

Fleur was frustrated. She hated England or Scotland. Whatever! The islands! Stupid barbaric british pigs who have no control over themselves just kept drooling whenever she was close. Stupid little girls kept looking at her like she was trying to steal their pathetic boytoys. Hah! Like she would ever be interested in a drooling vegetable. Add to that freaking cold weather, bloody freezing wind, crude cold castle (aesthetics? Never heard of it!), stupid tournament with stupid rules and biased judges, and it would be pretty obvious as to why Fleur hated this year. Problems with boys were a constant factor for her. She got used to it in France, but THAT problem combines with all the rest just got her this close to tipping point. After all she was 17 years old girl. Beautiful intelligent girl, and yet she never even kissed a boy despite what jealous rumor-mongers were telling about her. Fleur wanted her kiss and relationship to mean something, for it to be something more than just saliva swapping simply because her libido got control of her body. Frankly speaking, all those idiots whose upperbrain function were vastly inferior and had less control over their bodies and behavior than loweverbrain (namely penis and balls) made her despise those who cave in lust, and wish for relationship based on Love.

Now women are much more emotional being comparing to men. Add to all of the above stress from competing in Third and final task of Triwizard Tournament that will decide the winner and you can imagine what a volcano was boiling inside gorgeous blonde. Veelas are passionate beings, so her emotions were actually helping Fleur greatly with fighting various creatures and destroying obstacles. Poor Blast-ended Skrewt was pulverized to pulp within seconds by irate girl when he/she/it? got in her way to the Cup. Size, ugliness, spell-resistant hide… nothing helped poor chimera that was stupid enough to get between determined Veela and her goal: win the fucking Tournament and go home. Other monsters, obstacles, riddles and walls of maze itself were quickly destroyed and cleared that path to the center of the maze.

And finally Fleur reached her destination point. The Cup was just 20 meters away. Only she was not the first to get there. The Forth Champion, The-Boy-Who-Lived, the one and only Harry Potter was staying there right in front of the Cup at arm's length and was frowning and thoughtfully gazing at it. It was bad. It was very very bad. After all Harry was the only person in the castle who didn't react to her Allure, which would make him a prime candidate for boyfriend material if he was a couple of years older. Pity she discovered that little fact only after Champion selection and closer to the First Task. Add to that his dubious reputation and various rumors and it would be understandable why a good girl like Fleur was cautious when getting to know Harry. While they started talking and actually became sort of friends in the aftermath of the Second Task, school work and preparation for the Tournament didn't leave them much time to get to know each other better. But that was not a problem. Right now the problem was that Harry could simply reach with his hand and win the fucking Tournament she wasted year of her life on!

\- Em, Harry. …. Hello?!

No answer.

\- Potter! How dare you ignore me?!

Harry spared Fleur a glace. GLANCE! A fucking Glance before returning to examine the Cup. How dare he ignore her! Her beauty was unparalleled even among Veela's and this… this boy! dared! to ignore her! Waaaarghh! (hating attention from boys with no self-control mentioned above? Nah, female logic. Just eat it xD)

And fueled by rage, wrath, exhaustion, hurt, irritation and dozen other feelings only a woman could feel at the same time, Fleur blasted Harry with her Allure, pulling all of her might into it. Normally it would turn men into drooling vegetables willing to do anything for the goddess. Unfortunately with Harry things never that simple. First of all Harry had incredible mental fortitude. So strong that he can overcome Imperius cast by powerful wizard. Secondly, Harry saved Fleur's sister. No matter how small and imaginative danger was. Fleur thought her sister was in real danger and magic acted accordingly when witnessing a life debt. Now, while Veela's life debt not very different comparing to normal witch and does not require to become bonded or slave or whatever other things perverted virgin little wizards dream of, their debt is more binding and powerful since all Veela's are much more magical comparing to normal wizarding folks. Now, add to the equation itty-bitty horcrux in Harry's forehead and mother's sacrifice magic protection guarding her son 24/7, mixture of basilisk venom, phoenix tears and Harry's own magical blood flowing in Potter's veins, and it was no wonder that Fleur got quite unexpected result for her actions.

Blast of allure ricocheted back from Harry to Fleur, grew stronger and flew back at Harry and so on and so forth several times until the initial allure blast turned into something completely different. A magic bond the like is formed between husband and wife after wedding ritual. The one that is unbreakable. The one that basically makes man and woman a one soul.

When the lightshow ended (courtesy of allure ricochet and wedding ritual) Fleur looked with wonder at Harry. All of previous emotions faded into background. What she felt with overwhelming clarity was tenderness, affection and Love both from Harry to her and what she felt to Harry. Social rules, moral, norms? Fuck them. They are keeping two souls from realizing that their happiness was there all that time and they might have never discovered it! Who cares about couple of years of age difference 20-30 years from now? Magical people live much longer that muggles. The more powerful they were, the longer they lived.

Harry in turn was stunned. He was examining the Cup. After all it WAS the end of year, and if 4 years of studying in Hogwarts taught him something, it was consistent pattern: end of the year equals to life-threatening situation he has to survive. As the saying goes: once is chance, twice is coincidence, third time is a pattern. From year one to three his Defense against of the Dark Arts teachers tried to kill or hurt him in addition to other mysteries and dangers of studying in the safest school of Great Britain. So he was cautious and on guard. The Third Task so far was rather simple. Nothing he encountered was really dangerous, which means the Cup just have to be a trap or poisoned or be something equally deadly. Therefore instead of just grabbing the Cup he was examining it trying to understand what sort of danger it hid. That was before Fleur emerged from the maze. While some other time Harry would love to talk to beautiful girl who after the Second Task quickly became his sorta-friend, the end of the year Danger was more important than his desire to enjoy beauty of gorgeous girl or her nice character behind the mask of cold, distant snob she used to scare boys away. And then Fleur did something, then there was this flash of light and suddenly Harry questioned himself: why should he bother with freaking Cup at the first place? There were other Champions, he never actually cared about the Tournament. What he wanted was to survive. Simple as that. There were also judges and teachers. Let them solve that puzzle if there was any. What was far more important were the emotions he felt. How and what Fleur felt toward him. And what his true feeling were for her. Silently he praised magic and whatever god or goddess who were responsible for whatever happened that lifted curtain cloaking his eyes and mind. He never knew Love, but what he… no They felt to each other was True Love (capital letters). The one so rare that people remember it for centuries. And because of his ignorance and insecurity he almost lost it. Surely girl as beautiful and smart and kind as Fleur could easily find a suitor. Hell guys would fight and kill to get her attention!

Both teens were staring at each other enraptured in their feelings. Without noticing how and when they closed the distance between them. All they saw were each other's eyes. Those eyes closed as their lips met for the first time. The kiss was tender, full of love. Caressing each other they moved further into the maze away from the center. So focused on each other they never noticed acromantula finally shaking blindness effect of marriage lightshow. Giant spider was not stupid. He didn't touch Harry because the latter distinctly smelled like basilisk. Nor was he getting close to fire witch who burned better part of the maze and it's inhabitants to crisp on her way to the Cup. He like to live, thank you very much. So as the lightshow and the duo it was causing disappear into the maze acromantule slowly moved out of his hiding spot and restarted to span his web around the clearing. Nearly invisible hunting web that Cedric got caught half an hour later and was forced to forfeit and call for teachers patrolling the maze for help. Also wizards once again proved themselves rather stupid and bloodthirsty. Who's fault it was that poor giant spider was poisoned Hogwards Champion and was cocooning him for further feat? Acromantula while intelligent were still a beast with rather simple mind and mostly led by instincts. Blaming organizers for putting dangerous beast in the maze and endangering life of Champions? Nope, Champions knew that Tournament was dangerous. Blaming the patrolling teacher? They were not gods and couldn't be everywhere, plus they were not allowed to get close to Champions, after all who would want to be blamed for cheating and helping the Champion? No, teachers were given sectors they patrolled, but considering you cannot apparate in Hogwarts and ambushing spider attacks really fast it was not wonder that Cedric was bitten, poisoned and half cocooned by the time teachers got to him.

Some might be wondering about Durmstrang Champion, unfortunately to Krum lovers Victor was badly burned by Blast-ended Skrewt. Hargid really outdid all chimerologists of the past with his creature. None of spells Krum used on the thing so much as scratched it's shell. Also knowledge is a bit part of finding right countermeasure and Blast-ended Skrewt were illegally bred chimera's with no information about them. Even Hagrid had no idea what he created. So blast of fire was completely unexpected for Victor and badly burned him. Had he not been used to pain and traumas the evening might as well ended with tragic death of Bulgerian star seeker. However, Krum forced his burned body to send red sparks and nearby teacher saved him by manipulating maze wall and separating injured student from Hagrid's monster. After all, even teachers didn't know how to destroy the creature.

But what about our newlyweds? Well, after finding nice secluded spot they quickly warded it to hell and back with various privacy and protection wards and proceeded to consummate their marriage to mutual pleasure. Which was kind of funny considering how scared organizers were getting trying to find the other two Champions after all time limits ended. Moody's eye couldn't find sex-crazed couple because for some unknown reasons sphinx decided to guard them and didn't let Moody get anywhere near that area. Death Eather in disguise was smart enough not to get anywhere close to mythical creature that can easily break his mascaraed.

What's more amusing: Harry and Fleur's intense and passionate love making actually destroyed hocrux in Harry's head, and the backslash damaged Voldemort homunculus, but the dark lord didn't notice that because the teachers that patrolled the maze and saved Cedric accidentally knocked acromantula on the Cup. In their haste saviors didn't notice disappearance of giant spider via portkey, for they were more busy with saving Cedric's life, cleansing poison, closing his wounds and replenishing lost blood, and warding the area from monsters at the same time. It took them some time, no matter how small to get to red sparkles area and giant spider used it all to rip pretty boy's body with its claws and fangs poisoning and tearing flesh.

Acromantula appeared in the Little Whinington's graveyard. It tried to eat Wormtail, but coward turned into his rat form and fled abandoning his master. And giant spider no matter how agile simply couldn't catch little rodent. Voldemort who was weak in his homunculus form was even more weaken by love and light that came from Harry-Voldy's link. So he was completely defenseless against giant spider. What poor acromantula didn't know is not to eat something made from dark magic, poison of magically mutated snake and leftovers of Dark Lord soul. Naturally such a dish didn't serve well for the health of gigantic, but stupid spider who died a very painful death from food poisoning.

Later authorities investigating disappearance of the Triwizard Cup found the spider and the Cup.

Magical Britain Ministry of Magic and Hogwarts became a laughing stock in the world.

As for Harry and Fleur, fortunately for young couple purging hocrux from Harry took significant amount of magic and life force that was accumulated during love-making. The very air around copulating pair was thick with magic, light and life which is why destruction of hocrux happened without any special effects life anguish screaming of soul piece or black smog or any such things. It was simply destroyed and lust and love driven couple didn't even notice it. It was however very fortunate for them that all that magic and life force was used on that deed otherwise newlyweds would face very awkward situation of being parents at 14 and 17 respectfully.

Several hours later, when authorities already dispatched squads of British and French Aurors to investigate disappearance of two champions and found what happened to the Cup, Harry and Fleur made themselves as presentable as possible after several hours of lovemaking and finally emerged from the maze. Tons of questions and shouting later, pair finally departed for the night, though Harry never promised to spend it in Gryffindor tower in his bed. Instead he pulled his invisibility cloak on and sneaked into Fleur's room in the carriage. Next day was again an uproar since both Champions again disappeared while the judges and the authorities were trying to decide the winner of the Tournament.

Happy couple went straight to Gringotts and registered their marriage with goblins and got official certificate which would be recognizable all around Europe. After all they had no desire to fight bigots and other morons trying to control The-Boy-Who-Lived and keeping him in Britain. Harry had no love lost for Great Britain. Relatives who hated him, school that endanger him, strange headmaster with who knows what in his mind, bigots and morons who one day worship him the next day hate him because of rumors or bigotry.

Long story short: in the end Harry left Hogwarts and enrolled in Beauxbatonx. Shit storm that followed that move nearly buried Dumbledore and definitely buried Furge and his administration for promoting the Tournament and losing Boy-Who-Lived to frenchies.

After graduation he officially married Fleur. They were already married in the eyes of magic which made it legal, but Harry wanted to give his love a real wedding because he was a nice guy, really loved his beautiful wife (who loved him back just as strongly) and heard that wedding was a big deal for girls.

The End.


End file.
